'Twas the Night Before Christmas 2016

Here's my annual tech rendition of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.

A recording can be found here

‘twas the night before Christmas
and in all through the house
there were computers a plenty
but not many a mouse

It’s the end of the year
Another one’s done
So light the yule log
And lets have some fun

2016 was an election year
we’ll surely remember
a flurry of tweets and attacks
until we finally reached November

Make America Great Again
Was a slogan for many
Red hats were adorned
And the memes were aplenty

We relied on online polls
that showed Clinton for the win
but when we woke the next day
the headlines left many, scratching their chin

from Ken Bone in his red sweater
who asked a simple question
to Beyonce who released Lemonade
With lyrics that showed little discretion

And Adele did carpool karaoke
To viral success
While fake news spread across the Internet
Leaving us all very depressed

The end of a year…
Or was it an episode of Black Mirror?
Between scary clowns and the Zika Virus
2016 was filled with some terror

But much in tech is bringing rejoicing
like Pokemon Go that got us up moving
And now when it comes to video games
And even mom is approving

Online shopping stole Black Friday
As we bought on mobile devices
Your stockings will surely be filled
With tech bought at very low prices

And sure smartphone sales are slowing
and tablets sales have fallen off
but 4K TVs continue to do well
while drones and VR are beginning to take off

In a back and forth battle
Apple took on the FBI
To ensure your data remains encrypted
and away from prying eyes

Apple also launched a new iPhone
Now available in matte black
But can someone tell me why oh why
they had to remove the old headphone jack?

We lost some of the greats
like Andy Grove and Prince
But we gained back Alec Baldwin
And have been laughing ever since

It was the year of the Olympics
And the year of Facebook live
Chewbacca Mom had us smiling
And she didn’t even have to try

Bumble, tinder, and others
Had us swiping left and right
But when it came to digital dating
Netflix and chill stole the night

Stranger Things had us rooting for L
While scared of the upside down
We all left craving frozen egos
And wandering why no one seemed to cared that Barb wasn’t around

Vocal computing became all the rage
As Alexa moved in
And when it came to the Mannequin challenge
Those who held motionless would win

So let bygones be bygones
Its soon time to ring in the new year
Forget yesterday’s mistakes
And pull your loved ones near

2017 is looking bright
don’t be filled with remorse
if you didn’t win this year
there’s always next year of course

Do more and be better than you were in 16
shout in the streets and down the halls
a very Merry Merry
Merry Christmas to All!